Rating: Five Out of Five( Outstanding!)

It was my first time at my local library in many years. After getting a new groovy looking library card, I explored the second floor with one mission: find a good book and finish it. Shelf after shelf, I scanned each book spine until I can across a multitude colored book cover with white letters. The words: “Stop People Pleasing: And Find Your Power” by Hailey Magee.

I had to extend my keep with this book twice from my local library. Then, I decided to just buy it. Shortly afterward the purchase, my daughter came into the world, meaning little time for page turning. Finally, I downloaded the audible app, which helped make the car drives to and from work more enlightening.

Hailey Magee is a phenomenal writer. Some of us confuse people pleasing for kindness. As one who has people pleased, I can tell you that there is a difference. Your kindness shouldn’t leave you feeling frustrated towards yourself or anyone. Throughout this encouraged read, Magee breaks down Kindness vs People Pleasing; the origins of our people pleasing; and how to take our needs, wants, values, and boundaries into consideration.

What I’ve taken from this book:

• I have a tendency to say “yes” to a lot, even if I don’t want to. Why, because if I don’t who else is going to do what is being asked of me.
• Do good for others because you want to see them happy, not just because it is the right thing to do. For those who grew up in religious environments, I think we sometimes do good acts because we feel like it is our duty as believers. While we should love others by doing good acts, our intention should be because we want others to be happy, sucessful, and to grow. Yes we want to get into Heaven, but from what I’ve learned, a relationship with God is going to get you through the pearly gates.
• There is nothing wrong with saying “no”. There is a good way to go about to.
• Not everyone is going to agree with your decisions. Just accept that.
• Stand up for yourself.
• Identify your values.
• When we people please we feel worn out our resentful.
• When I think of kindness I think selfless action for the glory of God and to raise the spirit and growth of others. Examples: I want to help this person get an apartment so they aren’t on the street. I want to loan this person some money because they need it to pay a bill. I want to give a good gift for my parents this christmas because I love them. I’m giving my tithe back to God because I love Him and He helped me earn this money.

If you are a people pleaser and are looking to break away from that type of life, look no further. While it won’t be an overnight fix, Magee lends you the tools to make a day by day transition into a person who can love and respect themself.

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