A while ago, I started this post in response to something on Instagram one of my followers shared on her account. The post was a list of everything they wanted in a significant other; a “Bae List”. It got me thinking further ahead of what I hope for in a spouse.
Maybe I’m thinking too far ahead. I’m not even in a relationship. But hey why not? These are the Main 3 Things I hope for in a spouse:
1. A believer and lover of Christ. If there is one thing I would love to have in common with someone, it would be for both of us to share a love for Christ. To be able to pray, worship, and give praise together. I just don’t want to have an uequally yoked marriage.
“It is a dangerous thing to form a worldly alliance. Satan well knows that the hour which witnesses the marriages of many young men and women closes the history of their religious experience and usefulness. For a time they make make an effort to live a Christian life, but all their strivings are made against a steady influence in the opposite direction. Once they felt it a privilege to speak of their joy and hope; but soon they become unwilling to make this a subject of conversation, knowing that the one with who they have linked their destiny takes no interest in these things. This Satan insidiously weaves about them a web of skepticism, and faith in the precious truth dies out of the heart”(White 453,454).
If you’re a believer and going into a marriage thinking your religious ways will influence your non believing partner, it could be the exact opposite. Is having a spouse worth challenging your connection with God?
2. Loving & faithful. I would hope that I get married because someone loves me. Otherwise what’s the point? I want it be a true love, not lust or infatuation that simmers away over seasons. Ellen G. White said in her writings that “love is a precious gift, which we receive from Jesus. Pure and holy affection is not a feeling, but a principle. Those who are actuated by true are neither unreasonable nor blind. Taught by the Holy Spirit, they love God supremely, and their neighbor as themselves”(White 435)
“Let a young man seek one to stand by his side who is fitted to bear her share of life’s burdens, one whose influence will ennoble and refine him, and who will make him happy in her love”(White 435)
Regarding faithfulless, as the seventh commandment of the ten says, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” I hate cheating with a passion, especially when one partner has done nothing to push the other to stray with someone else. I think it’s extra selfish when one has children with a spouse and still goes out and cheats. By doing this you’re not just breaking the bond with your partner, you’re putting your child in a position where they could lose either parent. My advice: If you don’t feel the same towards your partner as you once did, just leave. Why have extra drama to further complicate the situation? However, if both parties(not one) are willing to work things out and move forward together, then pray about, and go for it.
3. Look past my speech. I’m sure I’ve turned off a good number of women every time my eyes flicker; tongue twists; and so forth as I stammer, but I am what I am. I will continue to better myself in speech, but I can’t promise that my stutter is going to disappear forever. All I can do is practice, not be afraid, and continue praying. I’m done apologizing for what I am. Know that I am bigger than my speech.
We finally got the three out of the way. Now I feel compelled to say that I am a firm believer in patience. I appreciate everyone’s advice, but I am not rushing out to find a spouse at this point in my life. I’m only 25. In my opinion, your 20s should be the years when you figure out and establish yourself as an adult. You are on nobody’s time clock except your own. Don’t let anyone: coworkers, professors, church members, friends, or family ever tell you otherwise. Get married when you’re ready.
“Satan is constantly busy to hurry inexperienced youth into a marriage alliance. But the less we glory in the marriages which are now taking place, the better. When the sacred nature and the claims of marriage are understood, it will even now be approved of Heaven, and the result will happiness to both parties”(White 455).
What about you? What are your main 3 things you hope for in a spouse or significant other?
White, Ellen Gould Harmon. Messages to young people. Hagerstown, MD: Review and Herald, 2002. Print.
The King James study Bible: King James Version. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1995. Print.