Slump

Hey y’all. I’ve been a bit in my feelings and occupied ever since this past Friday. 

First, I’m going to talk about a few of my problems. One of my biggest problems is planning. If I’m being completely honest a lot of my blog posts don’t have a deadline. I just say to myself, if I don’t get it finished, there is always tomorrow. I prefer not having deadlines because it gives me the chance to truly put my heart and soul into a Creation. If the heart and soul isn’t there, it might as well be a homework assignment I obligated  to do. 

I wish that I could post something every single day like some of you do, but my schedule doesn’t allow it. Even if I’m not working, I have other responsibilities, and I have to give myself a chance to breathe in between writing. Otherwise, it becomes a chore for me.

Now for my second problem. I feel like I don’t give God enough of my time. I haven’t done my weekly lesson in about two weeks. That’s disheartening for me. This morning was the first time in a while I did my lesson. I even took the time to read a chapter from the book of Proverbs. It’s good that I talk to God everyday, but I can always sit down and put the phone and computer down to open myself to some daily knowledge.

On Friday, I went to a job fair under the suggestion of a couple of friends. When I hear “job fair”, I assumed it was one in which there were several employers, from different companies, with tables of information about what the company was all about. What I got was a different experience. There were only two companies. And this wasn’t a find-out-what-we’re-about job fair. They were actually hiring. This didn’t click in my head until about 3 hours of waiting around when I finally asked an employee at the job center what I was happening. I was not going to take a job I knew nothing about, so I walked out. Feeling like I wasted my time.

Afterwards, something inside me told me to visit my alma mater to say “hello” to my advisor Ms. Pam, who had a hand in guiding me through my 4 year journey at Austin Peay State University. Sadly, she wasn’t there. Her former assistant was there to inform me that she wasn’t at campus at the moment. The assistant told me however that Ms. Pam still thought well of me and talked about me. Even though I hadn’t seen her in over a year. There I stood feeling like an ass, for losing contact with someone who believed in me, who still talked about me very well. I didn’t mean to lose contact with my advisor. I just moved forward in life as any other person would. College was over, I thought.

Thankfully, the assistant gave me Ms. Pam’s email and phone, so I could get in contact with her. Hopefully I can see her soon just to catch up and let her know how I’m doing.   

Can you guys pray for me? Please pray that I stop working myself too hard and not be too hard on myself. I would appreciate it. 

Have a good night everyone. God bless.