Ears Open and Listen

Good day to all of you. Stuttering Awareness week was last week, but I didn’t realize it because during that time I was on vacation and prepping for it. But it has occurred to me that there is always someone who needs to be educated about different types of people. For this blog post I decided to reach out to some good individuals of two Facebook groups I’m a part of. Those groups are The Stuttering Community and African Americans Who Stutter.

I’m 26 years old, and to this day there is always that one person who doesn’t want to listen to me when I’m trying to get something out. It happened the other day as a matter of fact. I was moreso tickled silly rather than hurt, because this person was older than me and I’ve been around this person for almost two years, long enough for them to know I have a stutter.

I could list a few reasons why a person might not let me finish my words.

• Maybe I’ve ticked them off.
• Maybe I’m talking too slow.
• Maybe they have something else to do.
• Maybe I’m not talking loud enough for them to know I’m speaking.
• Maybe I’m stuck on a word and they mistakenly think I’m finished. I get that often.
• Maybe they do know I’m speaking and struggling, but they just don’t give a you-know- what.

It can be frustrating when people don’t want to be patient with me when I’m taking my sweet time getting something out. What do you have to do that is so urgent that won’t allow me to get my point across? It’s not like I’m giving a long speech or hour long sermon.

When I’m dealing with these individuals I just vent to myself and go about my day. All I can do for myself is pray and better myself as a speaker. I’m very well aware that not everybody is nice, patient, and understanding. All three characteristics seem to be slowly disappearing. Go human race. 🤦🏾‍♂️

But how about other people with speech impediments? I can’t speak for all of us. Like billions of snowflakes during the winter, we’re not all the same. On the two Facebook groups I’m a part of, I asked the following questions:

“As a stutterer, what goes through your mind when a non- stutterer doesn’t take the time to listen to you?”

“How do you handle the situation?”

Simon Bailey, 59, says he advertises that he is working on his speech by exaggerated use of his tools. He says no one ever ignores or cuts him off- unless he wants them to.

“I feel like the minute I feel a person is frustrated with me or they start cutting me off I just shut down and start using as few words as I can to end the interaction,” says Loretta LeFever Sahr, 45.

“I journal and avoid people, probably not a healthy solution, but I developed a stutter 10 months ago, and I’m still learning to deal with it myself.”

I can sympathize with Sahr. I keep a journal and pour all my thoughts into that thing. Also, I tend to avoid people who just refuse to listen or understand.

Joel Antonio, 25, says he can sense when he loses someone’s attention. He says he often feels that his thoughts and ideas don’t matter no matter how good they are.

“I get really frustrated with them, as well as myself. What I’m saying makes perfect sense in my head if they’d only pay attention and if i didnt stutter. I usually shut down and say never mind, it doesnt matter or Ill take care of it. Then I do my best to handle the situation on my own.”

“I try not to think anything about them,” says Martin King, 34, “because most non- stutterers you encounter don’t understand ‘the rules of engagement’. Definitely not a good feeling to have someone attempt to finish your thoughts.”

I’m not bashing non stutterers. I love you all dearly. All we stutterers are asking is in the future for you to have your ears open and listen.

Thanks for taking the time to read, and God Bless. 😊❤️

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